UMB Smokin' Vault BBQ

I've seen and read about competition barbeques for some time, but have never attended one, let alone participated in any way. When the opportunity came up to become a judge, certified by the Kansas City Barbeque Society, and to participate in the Smokin' Vault contest, I jumped at the chance. I thought, "What could be better? I'll get to eat good barbeque for FREE!". It sounded like a no brainer to me!

I spent a large portion of a hot Thursday in May with about 90 of my closest friends, sitting under a tent in the Woodlands parking lot. We were there learning about and sampling barbeque. It was quite an educational experience. I'd never realized how much science and showmanship were involved in competition barbeque. I scoffed, as did most of my classmates, when our instructor repeated over and over to keep in mind that the barbeque we were tasting as part of our educationial experience was not "competition quality". To me, it was some VERY good barbeque, with the exception of a couple of deliberate "ringers" thrown in to see how well we'd learned our lessons. We learned about how to grade appearance, taste, and tenderness or degree of doneness, the three categories used in scoring competition barbeque. It was a fun day, and we walked away much more knowledgable about both the process and the people involved in barbeque contests.

As August 5th, the day of the UMB Smokin' Vault competition, came near the excitement grew. My fellow judges and I were eagerly anticipating our first judging experience. We showed up at the American Royal Complex, the site of the competition, at 10AM. We then waited until 11 for the American Royal and BBQ Society overseers to gather. There always seems to be some waiting, doesn't there? Eventually, we went through our orientation process, which included listening to a taped presentation of rules and high-points of judging. Finally, we participated in a time-honored swearing in process, promising to . Soont we were "sequestered" behind closed curtains and seated 6 by 6 by 6 at our judging tables to await the presentation of our first taste of competition barbeque.

At about 5 minutes until noon, through a small gap in the curtains, we watched as the competitors turned in their first entry, chicken. I was the judge #1 at the table #1, so I was the first to get a look at the chicken entries as they were presented for our grading on appearance. They looked beautiful! We were all quite hungry, and each sampling presented smelled more delectable than the one before. It was really difficult to wait for all of the samplings to be presented before taking my first bite. I could hardly wait for that first taste.

Words just fail me here. I knew from the first bit that I was hooked. This was not chicken... this was CHICKEN! It was crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside, with the taste of woodsmoke permeating the meat. It was VERY hard not to finish off one whole piece before moving to the next. But we'd been forwarned to keep in mind that if you take a 1 ounce bit of each sampling presented for judging, by the time the contest is over you will have consumed about 1 1/2 to 2 POUNDS of barbeque! With that in mind, I dutifully limited myself to a couple of bites... enough to feel I could accurately grade each entry for tenderness and taste, the other 2 criteria used in judging barbeque. It was heartbreaking to watch the amount of barbeque, EXCELLENT barbeque, that was being thrown away after each round of judging. The next time, I will bring something to take my "leftovers" home in.

This process was repeated for each of the 4 categories being judged... chicken, pork, ribs, and brisket. It seemed like each category outdid the one before it. At one point, one of my fellow judges kicked me under the table and stage whispered, "You're MOANING!" I didn't feel a bit embarrassed, as everone at our table was doing the same thing. It was little pieces of heaven being eaten with our fingers!

We all finished full, happy, and ready to do it all again! Let me tell you, if you're into barbeque, you MUST find a way to sample competition grade ribs, chicken, pork, and brisket. It will expand your consciousness, as well as your belly.

I can't wait to do it again!